If you are old enough to remember the muscular cartoon character Popeye the Sailor Man you are likely to recognize the phrase “I Yam what I Yam”. And, your memory might also include Popeye’s “significant other”, Olive Oyl. Created around the 1920s, the two cartoon characters were emblematic of male and female societal roles predominant at the time. Both representations of these personalities were awash with what today would be deemed restrictive stereotypes. Tough guy Popeye was for the most part, a one dimensional personality. Olive’s interaction with Popeye often included these pleas to the spinach eating bruiser: “Oh, dear! Help Popeye!”. Nonetheless, what is evident is the limiting and clear distinction of societal gender roles that reflected the norms of the era and informed gender generalizations that held fast for decades.
Although I was there for part of and subscribed to the 1970’s women’s movement, I have to confess to abiding by some distinct gender specific tasks. Among these responsibilities were grocery shopping and meal preparation. In our household, I am the designated cook and grocery shopper. To be totally honest, prior to the covid crisis, my husband and I spent many of our mealtimes in local restaurants. With the covid restrictions, in home dining became mandatory. The need to stock our shelves took on new importance.
For what seems no good reason and despite a definite lack of experience, the job of marketing during this restrictive time fell to my husband, Ross. Little did we realize how ill equipped he was for this new found duty. The necessity for very specific lists quickly became self evident. What I took for common knowledge was an assumption quickly dispelled by actuality.
Ross’s first foray to our local supermarket gave us a glimpse of the challenges ahead. Gloved and masked, he ventured into the shopping realm. He felt self confident . Armed with a list and a pen, he carefully stroked off each item that he put in his cart. Several ”consultative” phone calls and in what seemed like an eternity, he returned with the goods. Truth be told, with the exception of a few questionable purchases, the result was not all that bad.
Other shopping outings presented their own hurdles. On an early excursion, Ross reported he wandered aimlessly throughout the shop. It was a great mystery as to where merchandize was located. He wished for an app that could point him in the right direction. Perhaps a possible future business opportunity! In addition, there were challenges around product knowledge. He questioned whether there was a difference between angel hair pasta and spaghettini and yams and sweet potatoes. And “WTF is fennel ?”, he asked himself, not having a clue what it was or what it looked like. Another item on our list was “good” olive oil. “How can I tell what is the best?” he asked. “Buy the most expensive “, I replied. From then on I texted him our grocery list complete with photographs.
Several friends have reported similar stories as they encountered their own versions of role reversals. One of my good girlfriends shared this funny story. While making egg salad she realized she needed a touch of green onion so asked her husband to pick up the ingredient. More than willing to get out of the house, her husband drove eagerly to the food store. He was so proud of himself as he returned with six bunches of onions. Surprised by the over amount of onions he purchased, she queried why he bought so many. He proudly announced: “They were 99 cents a bunch. So cheap.” He saw what to his mind was a bargain. He decided to grab all he could. Covid thrift!!
Cooking in quarantine has also created changes in who does what in some households. Take this current normal for one twosome I know. Although the husband of the duo has not taken on marketing responsibilities, he has become the go to chef in their family. Utilizing one of the “boxed” meals that arrive to your home with all the ingredients for a healthy meal, this “culinary artist” serves up terrific dinners. My friend, his wife, says he dons a “chef’s jacket and has a pen in hand to mark off times etc. It is quite hilarious.”
Ross suggested the topic of this blog and was the source of many of the stories I have included. I struggled with how to write a punchy conclusion so, I shared my original wrap up with him for comments. Here is our collaborative effort:
I am not suggesting all heterosexual households have divided shopping and meal preparation responsibilities along traditional gender lines. But for those that do, some changes are evident in the last 8 weeks. Whether from boredom or necessity, there are males who took on shopping jobs resulting in amusing outcomes. I wonder whether the yam will have to continue to fear for its identity.
